Marriage, Money, and Trust

Money can be one of the greatest sources of tension in a marriage — but it can also become one of its greatest unifiers. Greg Dukes, Senior Vice President at Aquinas Wealth Advisors, was recently featured in InvestmentNews discussing the most common financial disagreements couples face and how to resolve them.

According to a 2025 SunTrust Bank survey cited in the article, 35% of people blame finances for relationship stress. In Greg’s experience, the root issue often begins with a familiar dynamic:

“The classic scenario is that one spouse is a saver and the other is a spender. One partner sees the long road and wants to save for big items and the other wants immediate enjoyment.”

But the deeper issue is not really about spending or saving. It’s about alignment.

While different advisors in the article framed the tension in various ways — control versus security, flexibility versus certainty — the common thread was clear:

Financial stress emerges when couples are not operating from a shared structure.

Greg emphasizes that disagreement is natural. Silence is not. The solution is not forcing one personality to win. It is creating a framework that allows both perspectives to coexist responsibly.

When asked about a single financial rule every couple should adopt, Greg’s answer was simple:

Full transparency.

No secret accounts. No hidden spending. No financial blind spots.

“We see a number of couples with monthly or quarterly ‘money meetings’ where they review finances together. This ensures both partners stay aligned on their goals and can tackle issues before they escalate.”

These structured conversations reduce emotional friction and build long-term trust. Transparency builds unity.And unity reduces financial anxiety far more effectively than any portfolio allocation.

Many couples — especially younger couples — worry that merging finances means losing autonomy. Greg challenges that misconception.

Couples can:

• Maintain joint accounts for shared goals
• Keep individual accounts for personal spending
• Ensure full visibility across all accounts
• The key is not one universal formula.

The key is shared agreement. When structure is clear and communication is ongoing, both partners can feel secure and free at the same time.

At Aquinas Wealth Advisors, we believe financial planning is about stewardship — not control.

Marriage calls couples to unity of mission. Money is simply one part of that mission.

When spouses operate as a financial team:

• Resources are aligned with shared values
• Long-term goals are clarified
• Generosity becomes intentional
• Anxiety decreases

Money itself does not damage relationships. Misalignment and lack of transparency do. Faith-informed financial planning invites couples to approach money not as a source of tension, but as a tool for building a life of purpose together.

We regularly help couples:

• Clarify shared financial goals
• Create structured spending and saving plans
• Align investments with their faith and long-term mission
• Reduce financial stress through clear decision-making frameworks

If you would like help creating a financial structure that strengthens your marriage rather than strains it, we would be honored to speak with you.

Schedule a conversation with our team.